The Wretched Scribbler

andivonravi's blog

Swock!

I am not exactly a jock, but I do enjoy sports, especially ones that are essentially business in disguise.
There are three of these that interest me the most: golf, tennis, and jousting.

We have been told, mostly by players themselves, that golf is one of the most challenging of mental games, that it tests one’s powers of concentration like nothing else. CEO’s, in particular, cannot get enough of it. Others maintain that golf is primarily a social activity, claiming that more business deals are closed on the green than in the conference room. Both may be true, but I see another value in golf. There is really nothing quite so satisfying as the sound of a club head smacking the face of a ball and blasting it two or three hundred yards down the fairway. It’s almost as fulfilling as a successful product launch, a million hits on the website, or firing somebody who really has to go.

Tennis. Management guru Peter Drucker likened doubles tennis to teamwork, a game in which he said “every member adapts to the other.” But no one cares about doubles. Singles is where it’s at and the really great thing there is the technology, especially the racket. Once again, you’ve got the thwack of string against helpless ball and the tremendous feeling of power as it distorts into an oval shape and spins away from you. You: boss. Ball: the issue you would like to fix, once and for all.

Jousting. Well, it is just beginning to take hold as the business sport of choice around the world. But the appeal is so obvious and simple: armor. Who ― male or female ― doesn’t look great in a helmet, cuirasse, and steel codpiece? Add a horse and you can gain what my friend George Stalk would call an unfair competitive advantage.

Of course, the best thing about all sports, and why businesspeople like them even more than business itself, is the beauty of keeping score. Who wins and who loses is indisputable, black and white, all in the final addition. In business, there’s always the nagging suspicion that the numbers are somehow lying, because they often are.

 

The Pre-Submission Author’s Freak-Out

Dear Reader of Blog (especially you many many “Authors” out there):

I beg you to be aware of a phenomenon that I have seen occur in the final week before the delivery of your manuscript to the publisher, whether it be a “traditional” publisher such as, let me think, umm, Portfolio (hi Adrian Zackheim, you business publishing Titan you!), or a print-on-demand site such as, umm, well there are many of them -- and they do one heck of a job for you. I am not kidding; the POD book is looking pretty, pretty close to the one printed at an ink-and-big-sheet-of-paper shop. Except for those very special firms such as GGP Media GmbH, Possneck, Germany. (Check out the Everyman’s Library edition of The Raj Quartet if U don’t believe me.)

Oh yes, the phenomenon. I almost forgot! It is the interesting behavior that comes over authors when they realize that, with that final press of the SEND button, they are committing their thoughts, indeed their legacy, to paper forever, or as long as anything might last these days or in the days to come. I must describe it as something akin to a freak-out. Suddenly, every word becomes ultra-precious. Hyphens and commas become oracular.  Points that seemed minor only a month before, now take on the significance of The Hierarchy of Needs.

This is understandable, I guess, because, unlike the Web-thing, books, with their acid-free paper and cloth jackets, sit on the shelf for long periods of time and can be picked up and searched by anyone with capacity for grasping and scanning. No wonder so many authors, so many of them dear friends and collaborators and clients of mine, bite their nails down to the quick and forego weekend activities and obsess over words in ways they have never done before, in that final week before all is frozen forever in type.

Please call me if U need help with this.

Love and understanding,

Andi von Ravi

I Just Want to Help

Dear Readers of Blog,

I would like to introduce myself. I am Andi von Ravi. I have been called the “world’s greatest guru,” but I think of myself in a much more humble way. I have simply been lucky enough to offer bits of insight and practical advice to some of the most fascinating people on the planet. Bono, Sarah Palin, and Steve Jobs come quickly to mind. Perhaps I have been successful, (if I have been, that is for others to judge) because I take a holistic approach to helping. (Tom Brady, Suze Orman, and Tina Fey also pop forward in my consciousness, now that I provoke my brain a bit more.) I help folk with physical fitness and feng shui. I assist with diet change and worldwide outsourcing strategy. I helped Warren Buffett in a small way with some nagging financial dilemmas. The Obamas couldn’t decide on that dog. Bear Grylls once got stuck in quicksand and texted me for advice on how to get out.

My, don’t people have their troubles!

I have stretched myself far and wide, doing what I can to help, and then help some more. From the struggling huts of strife-strewn geographies to the glittering towers of global commerce, I have walked miles in others’ shoes, except those who were barefoot. My despair, however, is that I have not been able to do enough for enough people in enough tough situations. Thus this blog. With it, I am opening myself up to the world. Saying, loud and near, let me help you!